Pain
by thedawnofmber
Summary: a story about ness and his battle with depression. rated m for some depressing content, SOME Lemons/smut. also NessxPaula Claus X Kumatora and oc X lucas also this is a HUGE AU where lucas, ness and later ninten live in the same time and general area
1. Chapter 1

* AUTHORS NOTE THIS STORY IS BASED OFF MY LIFE... MOSTLY

That monstrocity took all that I am, my sanity, my happiness everything. Giygas did many things and changed all of us. Paula seemed to become more happy and one day decided to admit that she was in love with me, I just hugged her and all was good for a while. She is the only good in my life I love her more than I love myself. Poo we haven't heard from at all no one has seen him after Giygas he just fucking left us. finaly Jeff he became closer with his father and graduated from his school in only 1 year, and now leads a group that is just full of inventors. Me I became a depressed mess. first it started with the nightmares than the visions, and now self harm. I need help.

I'm crying, and in my head that voice is saying, you are nothing, you have no future, end it all now.

So I get up and start writing on a piece of paper.

"My family I love you don't be sad this was the way it was ment to be. I saved the world so you could live in it. Please live as long as you can, I will see you again. Tracy my sister please don't cry over me. Paula if you find this than remember I love you and we will see one another once again and when you do I will meet you at the gates. Mom see ya."

I pull a knife out of my dresser and slit my wrists. I see the blood fall on the floor and I think sweet sweet releace. As my life is fading I think of how everything could be if I didn't do this and than I remember Paula my love and how she will react to this, will she move on from my death or will she become me? Than I realize that I don't want to die. I just start sobbing while lying on my bed I hear a voice saying, " NESS NESS NESS YOU OK"! After that it goes completely dark

*ENDING NOTES FOR CHAPTER. WELL I WANT YOU GUYS TO COME UP WITH WHAT HAPPENS DOES NESS DIE OR DOES HE LIVE.*


	2. Chapter 2 ness returns

*authors note, well my best friend jetman33 wanted me to do the live choice ( and did the rest of the readers most likely and that is just great) well have fun.

I feel like shit. what the hell is going on? when I open my eyes I am in a hospital, window to my left and a door to my right.

"Ness... Ness", whispered a calm voice. I look and see Paula looking at me with tears in her eyes.

" Why did you do it Ness? Why did you not call me? I would have come over.", She asked. Tracy walked in and asked " Ness are you fine?"

I finaly talked " Tracy where is mom"

" She is in the car. I wanted to see you... you haven't woken up for 1 week brother"

" 1 Week... you sure?"

Tracy couldn't handle herself any more she ran out crying heavy tears.

" Paula how long am I going to be here?", I asked her

" Just a day or 2 sweetie. When you get out please next time you need help call me... I love you and don't want to see you in pain"

Pain the thing that has been there ever since we saved the world.

" Don't worry I will be out in no time and then Paula everything will be fine" I said to calm her down

**5 DAYS LATER**

I was out. Now it was back to school. I got on the bus and sat next to paula

" so you feeling ok?" she asked careingly.

I did the most stupid thing and kissed her to assure her that I was fine or some shit like that.

" sorry" I whispered to her.

" don't be its ok we are together. It is ok to kiss me to assure me that you are fine". as much as I loved her that was cheesy, weird, and kinda dumb at the moment. we got to eagle high school and because it was late start Monday we had a good hour to wait so we met up with my best friends. they were Claus, Lucas, Kumatora, and some girl named Raine or something. We sat down and talked about life.


	3. Chapter 3 love

Class sucked as it seems to when I walked in to my English class ALL of my "peers" looked at me and just laughed at me. Saying things like " Hey Ness you mess" and things like " Go kill your self". I hate this school. so what does the teacher do she goes on about bullying or some fucking shit like that.

I take my seat and escape to my dark thoughts, the thing that keeps me warm. As for the rest of the day it was the same thing over and over. I got off the bus near the drug store and walked home with Paula. When we got in my mom hugged me and asked me how my day was. I told her that I was fine... what I lie both to me and her.

In my room the conversation turns into love quick and it goes like that.

" Hey u know how Kumatora is with Claus?",Paula asks.

"What's your idea" I ask back

" What if, and hear me out... if I were to get that girl Raine with Lucas?"

"Um... I don't think a girl like here is right for a sensitive guy like Lucas. He is someone who needs a person who loves him more than he loves them. Um... as for Claus... any hole is a goal for him."

Paula is bursting with laughter from the Claus part " You... sure... about that if Claus were here he would kill you if he were to hear you say that."

" Well it is true he told me last month that Kumatora and him did it already.

She was laughing harder now " wow that is hilarious and what about Lucas. Has he even had a girlfriend."

" No I don't think so"

Finaly Paula got up and said that she has to head back to Twoson. I gave her a huge and the most loving kiss and told her that I would see her tomarow


	4. lucas

I don't want to talk about school... to sum it up lets just say that I went there I got bullied, and decided that lucas needed a visit. I have always liked him he was so just great, and he always kept his cool even when in trouble. I knocked on the door and flint answered, " ahh Ness it is you. LUCAS A VISITOR IS HERE". Lucas ran down and told me to come in.

He told me to sit down once we got to his room. " So umm... Ness you... I don't know how to ask this... I guess what happened... the suicide attempt, the hospital what happened? You seemed fine before it all happened." Lucas asked. I felt bad for him. I remember going to his house just a day or two before I tried. " Lucas I just had a bad moment one of those things that you can not explain." his face was starting to look at me in a strange way. " The point is that i will not do it again, I was weak. I am stronger than I was before"

Lucas came twords me and hugs me... I have always noticed that he holds me much longer than his other friends... I don't mind it asides he understands how I feel. I push him away and ask him. "Lucas what happened to your mom that one day". he sits down and starts telling me " It was 6/3/2009 and you were here. Remember dad had come in and asked you to leave. You asked why. He did not answer, after you left and said you would call later dad had sat us down and he told us that the train that was coming back... did not make it, and had been derailed, mom was up front where it had the most damage. She did not make it. I remember leaving the house to go to Kumatoras place. She was not there and I came back, and just laid down and feel asleep.

"Shit Lucas that was what happened? all I remember was that you talked about mom, all of the time and you were at the counclers office almost all the time."

He broke into tears and hugs me, " I hate myself, I hate Claus. He is the lucky one he got the girl in the end. I have not even had a girlfriend and he gets all of the girls. You are lucky you have paula."

I felt bad for him. he wants love so much he just needs some one who understands him and is his. it must be hard for him. I have Paula, Claus has Kumatora, and the only one who I don't think has a boyfriend/ girlfriend is that Raine girl... i don't know her so well so who knows... i'm starting to think that she may be good for Lucas. I don't know... cupid Ness to the rescue yay.


End file.
